Attack Of The Twilight Chicken's
by always-my-raggedy-doctor
Summary: Bella Swan doesn't expect much when she moves to Forks, until she meats a mysterious boy, who seems rather strange.
1. Chapter 1 Biology Lab

**Attack of the Twilight chickens, Bella's P.O.V**

**Written by Paige R and Natalie W!**

_**Chapter 1- **__**Biology Lab-**_

My first class with him was on a Tuesday. It was a cold day.

I walked into class. My teacher directed me to a chair so I sat down. I didn't realise there was someone sitting next to me, until I had completely unpacked my stuff. I looked at the figure sitting before me. They had chestnut hair that had WAY to much gel in it. Their eyes were black and soulless. Their ears reminded me of the elves that are hiding in my underwear draw.

There was one more thing that appeared strange to me.

At first, when I looked at him, he had one of those things that roosters have under their chin. I looked around to see if anybody else had noticed this, apparently they hadn't. I looked back at him, only to see that he had a comb on top of his head, and then I thought, "HOLY CRAP, HE'S A CHICKEN".

I leaned in, ready to poke the comb, to make sure that I wasn't dreaming, When suddenly-

"What are you doing?" _Cluck. _he asked.

When he said this, I fell of my chair, everyone was watching me, so I sat back down, afraid that the chicken man would eat me.

"Please don't eat me, chicken man" I whispered. He looked at me strangely, then gathered up his books and left. At that moment the bell rang, so I too gathered up my books and left.

I couldn't believe what had happened, I HAD JUST SEEN A CHICKEN MAN!

I called my mother and told her all about it, she asked me if I had taken my medication for that day.

I assured her that I didn't need it any more and that I was perfectly healthy. She insisted that I take them saying, "Bella sweetie, you have just claimed that the chicken man sitting next to you in biology, is secretly a nome that has been stealing your underwear for the past several days!"

"I never used the phrase nome, I said elf!" I told her.

**Hope you liked it!**


	2. Chapter 2 The cafeteria

_**Chapter 2-**__** The Cafeteria **_

Later in the cafeteria, I began to realise, HOLY CRAP, THERE'S A HOLE HEARD OF THEM, AND I THINK THERE AFTER ME!

None of them were staring at me, so I assumed I had special invisibility powers, although I knew my clothes didn't have that power. So I stripped swiftly and quickly, People were staring at me, but not the chicken family, so I assumed it was working.

Doing the crab walk, I passed by them, the chicken man named Jasper stared at me.

"I come in peace chicken people, go back to what you were doing, that's a good chicken person" I told them. "What the hell are you talking about?" Jasper asked.

"THE CHICKEN'S ARE AFTER ME" I yelled.

The one named Edward spoke next, "um… I hate to break it to you, but we are NOT chicken's."

"_sure, _that's what you _want _me to think, you underwear stealing elf" I told him. "YOU WAIT, I'll catch you in the act, and I _will _find out what you are doing with my underwear, and how you plan to take over the world" ha ha….. See what they make of that.

"Bella-" he started to say, but I interrupted him. "so's your face" I said.

"That doesn't even make sense" the one named Alice told me.

"So's your face" HA, I am on fire!

"oh, and by the way I just have one more thing to, my groupies eat shapes on Monday." I snarled.

They gave me the _maybe she is crazy after all_ look.

"GOODBYE, _GOODBYE, goodbye" la la la la, _im sure they won't eat me now.

_**Written By Natalie W and Paige R**_

_**Please Review **_


	3. Chapter 3 The Cave

**Attack of the twilight chickens Bella's P.O.V!**

**Chapter 3- The Cave**

If they wouldn't admit to being chickens, I would have to force them into admitting it.

It was then when I saw them, whilst lying on my bed I saw 5 little men prancing of with my underwear. I decided to follow them, they eventually had led me to a cave, I guessed it was their evil layer, MWA HA HA HA HA.

"WHO ARE YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY UNDERWEAR" I shouted at them.

"ah, Miss Swan, we are the elf gnomes, and I am Morise, but in our previous life we were ancient Egyptian warriors from china, all the Frenchman worshiped us, but now we are forced to make our living on your underwear!" one of the little pigme things said to me, "what are you doing with my underwear?" I tried to keep my voice calm, but it was shaking.

"step 1, steal underwear, step 3, merchandise!" he said, "well, what's step 2?"I asked "um, HEY FRED, what's step 2?"

"step 1, steal underwear, step 3, merchandise!" Fred told us, " yea I know that but what's step 2?" Morise shouted across the room, "well… HEY BILL, what's step 2?" Fred asked, "step 1, steal underwear, step 3, merchandise!" Bill shouted back to Fred, "yeah, yeah, I know step 1 and 3, but what's step 2?" Fred said.

I figured it would go on forever so I left, I walked back to my house, and went back to sleep, im sure that I would probably just go and buy another stack of underwear.

**Hope you enjoyed it.**

**Sorry it was so short, we'll be writing a new chapter soon.**

**Written by Natalie W and Paige R.**


	4. Chapter 4 My Fairy God Mother

Attack of the Twilight Chickens

My fairy God Mother!

**From The Edward's point of view!**

"Why the hell does she think that we're chickens" Rosalie asked.

"I do not know" I replied. "maybe she's crazy" Emmett whispered. "EMMETT SHUT UP" Rosalie Screamed. "WHY?" Emmett shouted at her. "shut up or I will end you" she threatened.

Emmett started to eat a burger. "um…. Emmett, you do realize that we are vampires?" she stated. "yeah, go on" Emmet said. "SO… we don't eat" she whispered "OH CRAP, I DID IT AGAIN" he shouted running out of the room.

"We should put her in an asylum for her own safety" Alice told them. Emmett came charging out of the girls bathroom. "_I know…. We can dress up as fairy's then lead her to an insane asylum!"_ he said. "WHAT DO YOU THINK IM CRAZY?" he shrieked. "No, im actually impressed!" Rosalie said.

***

**BELLA'S P.O.V!**

As I was doing my homework, a strange girl appeared, "who are you?" I asked, " I am your fairy God mother, just hang on a second" she walked out of the room. I heard faint noises, from what I could tell, she was saying "WHAT IS THAT, IT'S FAT AND UGLY, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO WORK WITH IT?", "just give her this" she came back in my room, "_hello, _So…. Um… just try this!" she said as she gave me a strange bottle, I drank it, my stomach began to feel weird, and then, I WAS THIN! "_ wow, look at me now, I'M NOT _FAAAAAAT_" _I began to sing, but she interrupted me, "okay, stop stop stop, your going to ruin someone's eardrum! Now you're just going to come for a little ride with me, BRING OUT THE PUMPKIN!" she shouted, with a smile on her face.

"will you excuse me for a minute" she said politely. She walked out of the room, again I heard noises. "WHEN I SAY BRING OUT THE PUMPKIN, I MEAN, BRING OUT THE BLOODY PUMPKIN" she came back go my room, "im back" she was smiling.

**Your just going to have to wait for the next chapter to see what happens!**

**Written by Paige R and Natalie W.**


	5. Chapter 5 And then there were two

Attack of the Twilight Chickens!

Chapter 5 - and then there was two

**The woman led me back to her car, she left me with a man, he got in the car, so I got in too.**

**After about 5 minutes in the car I decided to ask where we were going! "where are you taking me mister?" I asked, "im kidnapping you!" he replied, "OH, will there be sandwich's there?" I asked, "um… yes" he told me. "well come on mister, we're going to be late, let's get there before all the sandwich's are gone!" I told him.**

**(**_**5 minutes later)**_

"**and I like baloney and cheese and cheese and baloney, oh but you know what goes in great place instead of cheese if they don't have any cheese, it's baloney, so instead of a cheese and baloney sandwich you get a baloney and baloney sandwich, OH, do you know where baloney comes from, I heard it comes from butterflies. It's weird, cause I always thought that baloney came from baloney which comes from elephants, but big bird says that it comes from butterflies so I believe him!"**

**By this point, the man was bashing his head against the steering wheel, "THAT'S IT!" he shouted, and he chucked me out of the car, I felt my body hit the road, and I saw the car drive away.**

**I turned around and I saw a house, it had strange bizarre signs on it, obviously I should have paid attention in school, I was beginning to see now, THE ADVANTAGES, it appeared to say "THE BLACK'S".**

**A boy came out of the house, he had a shotgun, "WHO ARE YOU?" he asked, "my name is Isabella Swan!" I told him. "Are you a chicken person?" he asked, "I beg you pardon" I was shocked, OH MY GOSH, he saw them too! "wait, you see them to?" I said. "yes, but no one believes me!" he informed me, "I know, we can stop them together!" I said "GOOD IDEA, we shall walk, skip and prance!" he said to me and we walked of to the Cullen's place!**


	6. Chapter 6 The fight

**Attack of the Twilight Chickens!**

**Chapter 6 - The fight**

"so… what's your name?" I asked him, "Jacob, Jacob Black" he replied.

As we reached the Cullen place, the chicken family emerged from their house. "Their here, GET THEM!" one of the chicken's screamed!

"RUN" Jacob screamed, and then we were running away from them! Suddenly Jacob stoped dead in his tracks,

"Jacob have you lost your mind, we've got to go, COME ON" I shrieked, "no, you go, I'll stop them, just trust me, please!" he said, I started to cry "WHY DO YOU HATE ME?" I Screamed.

I started to run away from him, I turned around and saw him put his arms out, "HOLT, FIEND!" he screamed, but the Cullen's just trampled him,

"JAKE" I screamed, and then i tripped and felt my face hit the ground.

I got back up, and saw the Cullen family walking towards me slowly.

"WHO PUT YOU UP TO THIS" i screamed, "WAS IT MY DAD?" i shrieked.

One of them grabed me by the arm. "oh, is this the part where im supposed to plead for my life?" i asked, Edward nodded, "PLEASE MR KILLER, don't kill me" i said, then he stabbed me, "so is this where im supposed to bleed, LOOK AT ME, im bleeding~ eek, eek" i said. "oh yeah, im supposed to run now arent I?" i asked edward shrugged, i started running around in circles, "OKAY, im running, im running, HELP, HELP, oh, now im gonna fall and brake my leg, helplessly" i told them. i fell to the ground, and the bone in my leg snapped, "there you go mr scary killer, im panicking now!" i shouted, then he chopped of my head, "oh look at me, im SO dead, im a gross scary severed head, COME ON, please, do you know who i am? im miss teen, your really giving me a headache, and you got blood all over my gucci sweater, i HOPE your gonna pay for that!" i shrieked, then he chucked my head in the lost and found box.


	7. Chapter 7 The End

**Attack of the Twilight Chickens!**

**Chapter 7 - The End**

We were all in a Café, "im so happy we have all gotten over this, LET'S BE FRIENDS FOREVER!" Jacob said, he had a neck brace on, and I had a cast on both legs and both arms.

"YEA" I shouted out of joy, "LET'S BE FRIENDS FOREVER!" yay! *sneeze*

Me, Jacob and Emmett were all drinking coffee, then Rosalie suddenly screamed at him "EMMETT, your doing it again" she shrieked. "OH CRAP, no no no no no no no" and he ran into the ladies bathroom.

The Cullen's left the Café, and Only Jacob and Bella were left there!

And everyone lived happily ever after, except for Bella and Jacob, who got hit by a truck three seconds after the Cullen's left the Café, but they were still happy because they never saw it coming.

*insert evil laugh here*

*insert final destination 4 music here*


End file.
